Sup. 17. United States. Female. I don't know what else to say. Toodle-pip

 

pajamaben:

if you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. don’t show weakness. eat all of it

nikitodesu:

chilope:

txtpostprincess:

if you’re a girl and you call everyone “bro” you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid

if you’re a person who thinks someone shouldn’t be allowed to use certain words because of their gender you need to stop because you sound unattractive and stupid

Shit son

cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists

(Source: snails135)

rupindeer:

I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana
oh

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

oh

(Source: dicemastaflex)

officialalltimelow:

lumos5001:

categoryfourkaiju:

brimmy21:

orcinus-equus:


nneeeuuhhhuehuehue


IT TOOK ME TOO LONG TO GET THIS AND WHEN I DID I CRIED. NO. DO NOT DO THAT TO ME.

What does this mean I don’t get it at all o.O

stay ignorant

if you want to know the truth watch this informative video


oh god

officialalltimelow:

lumos5001:

categoryfourkaiju:

brimmy21:

orcinus-equus:

nneeeuuhhhuehuehue

IT TOOK ME TOO LONG TO GET THIS AND WHEN I DID I CRIED. NO. DO NOT DO THAT TO ME.

What does this mean I don’t get it at all o.O

stay ignorant

if you want to know the truth watch this informative video

oh god

(Source: itsgettinghyakinhere)

mybeautifulidiot:

*settles into bed with blankets laptop headphones a drink and everything* ahh yes perfect. I have to pee. 

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 
Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

boots-n-cats:

my-stereo-heart-beats-for-you:

viergacht:

karensrnith:

"this baby came out of you but im not 100% sure its yours"

Funny thing - a woman who applied for welfare after her husband left her hadto supply DNA evidence he was actually the father. The results: he was definitely the father, but she wasn’t the mother. Her children were removed from her custody and she was sued for fraud, even though she insisted they were her children. 

Turns out, she wasn’t a surrogate or a kidnapper (the two most obvious explanations) - she was a chimera. As an embryo, she fused at a very early stage with her twin, forming one individual. Her ovaries apparently developed from cells that had originally belonged to her vanished twin. Later on more tests showed that while the woman’s skin and hair DNA did not match her childrens, DNA taken from her cervix did. 

WHAT THE FUCk

This went from stupid to really interesting in point 5 seconds.

healthier-each-day:

milk-eggs-vodka:

gosh mom I don’t work out to be “cute” and “petite” I work out to have legs that are strong enough to crush the souls of 10,000 men

that´s the spirit